For every post I make, 5 porn stars get laid.

I'm not kidding. For every "normal" page, there's 5 pornography pages on the internet. That means that there's approximately 900 porn pages out there because of me. What does this say about the state of the internet. When people are more interested in getting their rocks off, flying solo, or "spanking the monkey" than using the internet as it was originally intended... as a means of selling other people's ideas, it's a sad day. Even if it is new years day.

Technically, it's NOT New Years anymore, as it's 2:18am on the 2nd, and I was meant to be asleep by now. Oopsy. I've been talking to Josh for the past 3 hours though, so it's all good. He's been playing his guitar, screwing around with the amps on his computer to try and recreate "Beezleboss (the final showdown) from The Pick of Destiny, Tenacious D's new movie. Coming soon, to a cinema near me. Oh, and you can be sure that I'll be in said cinema, on said day that it comes out. Hehe.

I had a very productive New Years day, as I did absolutely nothing of value, yet had a ball not doing it. Fun was had, you can be sure of that. I'm called back to that quote, "don't make comics about not know what to make comics about." I actually meant to write way more last post about people staring at me funnily, so I will. Consider this a continuation of last post. From now, at the end of this sentence. Period.

It's disconcerting, having people staring at you. Trust me, I know. I'm still trying to decide what's worse, those who do it covertly, maybe looking out of the corner of their eyes, or those who call all their friends over, yelling "look, guys, look, it's Harry Potter!" Little kids do it. People I'm supposed to respect do it. I was at school, end of year, probably my last day of year 10, I hold the door of the library open for a teacher. He looks at me, and says "thank you, Harry Potter!" HAHAHAHA. Funny. Well done, sir, you've noticed what everyone else in the world has, that I have dark hair and glasses. Funnily enough, Harry Potter has jet black hair, and circular glasses, not brown hair and oval glasses. Of course, if all these people had read the books, and made the assumption that I look like Harry from reading the books, then they'd know he has jet black hair. Instead, they've seen Daniel Radcliffe take Mr Potter to the big screen, and make their inferences based on popular culture, not literary masterwork. Bah.

Anyway, I digress. Being looked at. So I'm wearing a dark jacket, and a supposedly "emo" hat. So what? It doesn't mean I'm going to leap out of my seat and stab you in front of all these witnesses on the tram, yeesh. I'll just whip out my wand and curse you. (NOTE THE SUBTLE IRONY). Michael Moore said it best when he said that people are deathly afraid of black people for no good reason. Of course people are afraid, we (we as a collective skin-colour-group, not me personally) have been oppressing these people for millennia because they're a different colour to "us" (again, us being white people). White people, especially rich, white Americans are scared shitless that some black bogeyman is going to come and eat their children. That's why they build gated communities, to keep people out. They have no reason to be so damn paranoid. No black person has ever hurt you, if you think about it. Every person who has ever hurt you, in your entire life, has been white. Just consider that. In short, black people are scapegoats.

Now, back to me. Just because I'm wearing full black, does not mean I'm going to come and eat your children. That's why you send me to school, with gates all around, to keep me in. Yet they have no reason to be so damn paranoid. No emo person, no goth person, no creatively yet stylishly dressed person has ever hurt you. Every person who has ever hurt you, in your entire life, has been in the same clique bracket as you (I'm simplifying, but almost). Just consider that. In short, emo people, goth people, stylishly dressed people are scapegoats.

So, yeah. Go ahead and stare at me, because if you do, I might get SO provoked that I leap out of my seat and scream at you "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!?!" and then I'd be in the wrong. I'd be the aggressive white teenager who's assaulted another mild mannered grandmother. No matter if the grandmother was pointing and laughing at me, no, because I decided to dress differently to other people, and that makes YOU nervous. Admit it. People like people who act like them, so it follows that people don't like people who don't act like them. True? They say opposites attract. I say (under my breath, lest I get shit kicked out of me by romance novelists) bullshit. I say, you only like people with similar interests and habits to yourself. Find a friend you have nothing in common with, and you've just lost a friend. Show me a healthy relationship where the two participants have nothing in common, and I'll eat a family sized pizza with the lot.

Hope that was as good as looking at 5 porn pages.
Ben