Sunday, August 08, 2004

Thank you... 2

Thank you again to Lachlan, and to Tom, for posting comments. I'm down to oneway ommentcay, ownay!
So, how did people go with their... Um, Games things?
Like I said earlier, we went OK, but could have gone better if we had the "flowchart", whatever the hell that was.
Anyways, I've had a boring weekend, with the exception of the games thing, and I'm almost looking forward to school, except I haven't finished my Science. Oh well. Now, I think I have some crap jokes for the world...

Ethical Dilemma
A lawyer charged a man $1,000 for legal services. The man paid him in cash with crisp new $100 bills. After the client left, the lawyer discovered that two bills had stuck together -- he'd been overpaid by $100. The ethical dilemma for the lawyer: Should he tell his partner?

Bush and Osama
Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which ever site's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.
Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female Dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk. After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were 5 " thick and nobody could get near.
When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9 foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for Bush because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Afghanistan dog. When the cages were opened up,the Dachshund came out of it's cage, and slowly waddled over towards Osama's dog. Osama's dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American Dachshund -- but, when it got close enough to bite, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed Osama's dog in one bite. There was nothing left of his dog at all.
Osama came up to Bush, shaking his head in disbelief, "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for 5 years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."
"That's nothing,", said Bush. "We had Michael Jackson's plasticsurgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a weenie dog."

George and Moses
George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowingwhite robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair. Theman had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm.
George W. approached the man and inquired, "Aren't you Moses."
The man ignored George W. and stared at the ceiling.
George W. positioned himself more directly in the man's view and askedagain, "Aren't you Moses".
The man continued to peruse the ceiling.
George W. tugged at the man's sleeve and asked once again, "Aren't youMoses".
The man finally responded in an irritated voice, "Yes I am".
George W. asked him why he was so uppity and the man replied, "The lasttime a bush spoke to me I ended up spending forty years in thewilderness".

The Amazing MonkeyMan
Ben Smith

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