Thursday, April 12, 2007

13 Reasons why I am not Harry Potter

1. I am not Magical.
As much as I'd like to believe I have magical powers, no. I don't. I'm a muggle.

2. I am not British.
I don't have a Cockney accent, nor a Yorkshire, nor a Royal... No. I'm Australian, remember?

3. I do not have Black Hair.
Again, just a finnicky little thing here, but Harry Potter is billed as having "Jet Black" hair. Not brown.

4. I do not have vibrant, jade-coloured eyes.
Yes, my eyes are green, but no, they don't jump out at you like those of the famous boy wizard.

5. I do not own a magical wand, enchanted broomstick, or Snowy Owl.
Mr Potter has all this stuff. He is lucky to have this stuff. I would prefer if I never saw a broomstick again, much less an enchanted one, unless it's enchanted to sweep. I prefer mopping.

6. I do not attend a private boarding school.
Sorry, it's a standard public school.

7. I am not an Orphan.
My parents are alive, and I plan on keeping it that way for as long as possible.

8. I am not an only child.
I have a brother.

9. My life is currently not being threatened by a megalomaniacal maniac.
I wouldn't mind it, though, to keep me on my toes. I'm taking interviews in a few weeks.

10. I do not think of my school as home.
I prefer to think of my house as my home, because I prefer to be there, rather than school.

11. I was not the victim of an attempted murder when I was 15 months old.
I was the victim of open-heart surgury when I was 16 weeks old, though. I can see how that might be confused.

12. I do not have a debilitating scar across my forehead.
I do have one across my chest, and no, you can't see it.

13. I have freckles.
Do you see Harry Potter with freckles? No! Ron has the freckles.

Glad I've got that off my chest. Of course, if the majority of people who called me Harry Potter A) could read, B) have read the Harry Potter series, and C) know me better than by sight, then they would look at these striking differences and say "hey, he's really not like Harry Potter at all."
What are the odds of that happeneing, though.
Ben

No comments: