Dark

I've been meaning to write this, or anything really, for a while now, so this might be a long one (by my standards). Have fun.

Ever since I was young, I've been afraid of the dark. It's not one of those crazy, illogical fears either (well, maybe it is, I just don't think it is), because the dark, to me, represents the unknown. And the unknown... well, anything could be out there. When I have to go outside at night, I run. Run like crazy, because there could be someone following me, or some creepy people standing round... It's weird. Sometimes on Thursday nights, after Scouts, I have to walk along Barkley street, across Lygon street to Barkley Square. That is a creepy experience in itself. I look in car windows a lot, and scare myself silly by expecting there to be something in them. And Barkley Street isn't very well lit, so sometimes the shadows look like things. Creepy.

Some people may ask "Why the dark?" Why not. But maybe it's not the dark that I'm afraid of. It's the unknown, like I said before. Anything that is illogical, or I can't understand intimidates me. And how can I understand the unknown? Walking down Barkley street, the only light coming from the iPod in my pocket and the distant street lights of Lygon street, there's a million different things that could happen. If I was walking in the day time, I'd be fine. You can see for miles, people are around, it's relatively safer. But when the sun goes down, our deepest insecurities take wing. The shadows jump at you, our imaginations go haywire... It's not fun, the dark. The only thing you can do is turn the volume on Reel Big Fish way up, look straight ahead, and walk as fast as you dare.

It's this constant drive to understand that pisses me off about myself, the desire to overanalyse any situation I'm in, the fact that I can't just keep walking and not give a rats about the unknown like most other people.

So thats one of my 3 major fears explained, hopefully. The other two will come, eventually. Not for a while though, I'm shaking like crazy over #3, think what #2 or #1'll do to me.
Ben