How to NOT piss Ben off.

1. For the love of god, don't be blatantly stupid.


2. If you ask me to entertain you, I'm going to pay lots and lots of attention to you. Don't abuse that attention.
   


3. Don't call me any of the following:
   
   
   • Harry Potter
     
   • Benny
     
   • Benny Bunny
     
   
   
4. Seriously, in case you didn't get it before: DON'T BE STUPID!
   


5. Ask me to do something, I'll do it. Therefore, when I ask you to do something, I'd really prefer if you did it.
   
6. There is a difference between funny and stupid. Learn said difference.
   
7. If I don't know who you are, odds are either:
   
   
   
   • I'm not going to talk to you
     
   • I don't have an opinion about you
     
   • If I'm making a general statement, it's not about you.
     
   • I probably won't respond well to being touched, either.
     
   
   
8. Calling me names is not a good way to get me to like you.
   
9. Subtlety only works if you can do it well.
   
10. Don't get pissed off with me if I'm not supporting you, usually there's a good reason and if you shut up for a second and let ME talk, you might find it out.
    

Ben

Gripefest '07

Or, Purge Writing 6: The Return of the Ben-i
(I was gonna call it that, but it's not past midnight, so I can't really call it an official PurgeFest)
I'm gonna complain about 3 things today.

1. People who assume that other people who know how to use Computers can fix anything electronic, just by snapping their fingers.
   
2. People Schools who constantly ask for help without doing anything in return.
   
3. "Rolling Blackouts" WTF?
   

So, here we go.
#1. People make this assumption SO much. "Get (blank) to fix it, he's good with Computers."
Just because he can make a Powerpoint presentation that kicks your ass, it doesn't mean he can fix whatever the heck you spilled in the computer tower. If it's shooting off blue sparks, and he's not a registered electrician, he is allowed to tell you to *LONG string of expletives deleted. Trust me, it's for your own good.* Now lets bring this discussion back to me. Just because I spend an unholy amount of time on the computer, does not mean that I know how to get a DVD out of the DVD player if it's stuck. There will be NO difference between me pushing the Eject button, and you pushing the Eject button.

#2. We had an out of uniform day on Wednesday, and naturally about 80 people didn't pay the $3 to have the privilege. Which IS a load of crap, but still. The principal decided to be an ass about it, hauling people in for an afterschool detention (on a Friday, too). Of course he didn't go around to the 80 students himself, though. No, that's work for the serfs students! So guess who got "chosen" to help? (I say "chosen" because it wasn't so much a "Ben, come help us," as it was a "Ben, get the *bleep* up, stop Studying Privately.") Once dragged to the staffroom, I was informed that Mr Sgroi was very angry about losing $150 dollars (nowai!) and that we all had to go around nailing these little brats. So after waiting around in the staffroom for 20 minutes, we were given lists and sent on our merry way. It took me 5 minutes to finish my list, and after getting abused in both of the classrooms I was sent to, I went back to the library and tried to sleep, because I didn't feel like doing any work. Of course, that's not allowed in the library. Pre-empting the "THIS IS A LIBRARY! NO TALKING! NO BREATHING! STOP LOOKING AT EACH OTHER!", I sat up. My reprive from work was short lived, though, as I was dragged back to the staffroom AGAIN, for no apparrent reason. Gah.

The main thing I'm getting at here is that if the school wants students to assist with their administrative procedures, they should at least say THANK YOU. Not once did I get thanked for giving up my valuable private study.

#3. There's been talk recently of Victoria having rolling blackouts, due to a lack of Hydroelectric electricity. This sounds remarkably similar (to me) to what happens in California. They have
Bleckh. I can't be bothered finishing that, it's definetly the least boring of the three.
Ben

Purge Writing 5: Don't you wish you'd copyrighted this?

It's 7 to 1 in the morning. I am bored out of my skull, yet don't want to go to bed right now. I'm just finished Sling (Miniclip) on hard, got top of the high score board again (20k higher than last time), and now I'm writing something for the second time this month. No idea what about, no idea for how long, lets just see how long it takes for me to fall asleep.
Ready... GO!

So, for English this week, we've got to do a creative piece on either a childhood memory (or sibling rivalry), or an idea of utopia. Utopia is defined as "An ideal place or state."(thank you Google), and that's what I've decided to write about. Who really gives a damn about childhood memories, anyway. Why bother, I've got social commentary to make! As you may have guessed from that outburst, I'm gonna write something kinda political, not jabbing at anyone in particular but more at the human race in general. I'm thinking of having either A) A bunch of robots running the joint, set in the year 10 thousand, or B) a "Last Man on Earth" situation.
I'm leaning more towards B, it'll be way more fun and there's much more scope for social commentary. Example:

He wandered through the wreckage of yet another skyscraper, the twisted steel pylons that once help up this ivory tower of capitalism now rusted, corroded and weak. A tattered, molding newspaper blows in the breeze, its headline proclaiming "War to be won without Nuclear force."

You know, something like that. Then of course I'd have the obligatory:

As he gave his last breath, and collapsed to the scarred dust of the earth, last of his kind, the planet was finally at peace. There were no more to rape the land, no more to befoul its waters and forests, finally, the world was perfect.

Bam. It's meant to be suggesting that as long as man survives, the world cannot be perfect.
Aren't I subtle? Lets hope that the teacher gets it.

Most of the other English classes at the school were asked to draft their responses over the weekend. I wasn't, but I wouldn't anyway.¹ Why bother? I think I write best when I'm under pressure, or making it up as I go along. Like I'm doing now, and I did for those two pieces of prose up there. I'm lucky like that, I guess, that I can turn a phrase so exquisitely, and do it so effortlessly too. I'm so modest, too.

School at the moment, it's kinda boring. We don't do anything in English, Maths is laughable, Chemistry is interesting, but not being taught well, Italian is fun (and pretty much a bludge, shhh), and Psychology is really interesting, but only because I'm intrigued by human behavior. That just leaves my distance IT, which isn't going too well. 29/50 for the first SAC is not fun. I'll live, though.

On human behavior, though. I find it so interesting, watching people², listening to their conversations³, etc. I love finding out the motivations people have for things, especially when they're questionable. It's really fun, especially when I get it right. Example: I'm normally the first to pick when someone's gonna go bad. Peter Harvey, for instance. I was the first one to suggest that maybe he wasn't as nice as people thought, and it turned out (*shocked*) that I was right. In a less biased example, I was also the first to not like Josh Chang. To all these posers who've started hating him in the last year or so, I say "Meh!" Way to jump on my bandwagon!

Now, watch me draw a link between them and Dante's Divine Comedy.
Peter Harvey --> Ben's Enemies List --> 9 Circles of Hell --> Dante's Inferno --> Dante's Divine Comedy.

I really want to read that book. It looks like an interesting insight into religious beliefs of the time. I'm kinda interested in that, too. I wouldn't really call myself a member of any religion (technically I'm an Uniting Church-er), so that means I can comment on them all! *evil grin* Not the weird and socially unacceptable "You are *blank*, I don't like *blanks*, enjoy your persecution." No, not like that. I mean, finding out what they believe, and why they believe it. I'm interested in that. I might as well start with the Uniting Church, I mean, if you can't laugh at yourself, you can't laugh at anything.

Since Wikipedia sucks, it's refusing to tell me anything directly about the religion, so I've had to go to "Mainline Protestism" in the USA to have a look at the religion's beliefs. Since they're not Unitarians, and they're not the Unity Church, and.. GAAH. I can't be bothered searching through 1.7 million pages to find stuff about a religion I don't know if I believe in or not. It's too freaking late (1:23), someone's just asked me "would you like to go to bed with you?" to which I of course replied "would you like to go to 'rephrase that so it makes sense?'" (Apparrently, she was referring to my PM, “In Soviet Russia, 'Voulez-vous coucher avec TOI!'”)⁴.

I reckon that'll be enough for now. It's too freaking late.

Ben

---

1: Ok, I probably would. Shut up.
2: Not like that, you weirdo.
3: See #2
4: Leave me alone, I'm very tired.

I am the best in the world at Sling.

The highscore board says so.
Ben